has had a hand in. We know that there are multitudes of screwups,
large and small,
that can be blamed on ANDY and thought much of this story is conjecture,
we feel that our sources,
such as the gypsy fortune teller on the Strand in Venice, CA,
are highly reliable.There's that asp that ANDY said was a gopher snake, the weather forecast for the Spanish Armada, that let them eat cake thing. Events too numerous to mention here so we have distilled just a few tidbits to show you are not alone when you BLAME ANDY.
The first recorded reference to BLAME ANDY was after the fall of The Roman Empire. Not a soul could swear to seeing ANDY but there is certain evidence to back up this interpretation.
First Crusade 1096, Second Crusade 1144, Third Crusade 1189, Fourth Crusade 1200, Fifth Crusade 1217, Sixth Crusade 1228, Seventh Crusade 1248, Eighth
Crusade 1270. With ANDY's leadership,
the european blessed were inspired on defeating and converting the arab hordes. These pure of heart crusaders practiced rape and plunder on those they defeated to prove their good intentions.
In the Children's Crusade of 1212 only 1 of 30,000 French children and about 200 of 20,000 German children survived to return home. ANDY the pied piper...
The 100 years war between the English and French begins in 1347 AD. After 4 major confrontations the French forces are crushed. However, Joan of Arc, a young girl aged 15, lead
s the very last French resistance to numerous key victories to regain their land, power and wealth, eventually removing English provinces from mainland Europe. She was captured by Burgundians in 1430 and turned over to the
English who burned her at the stake as a witch. Stood up ANDY.
A large Mongolian armada, led by ANDY, that may have numbered 145,000 men, landed at Hakozaki Bay. The Japanese were waiting for them and repulsed the attack. A typhoon then destroyed the Mongol fleet, leaving the army to be killed or enslaved. Their offspring now build Toyotas.
Later word got out that the Spanish Inquisition was at least somewhat blamed on ANDY as those being
burned at the stake and otherwise "convinced" to see the light were heard to yell out BLAME ANDY at appropriate times
The Black Death ravaged across Europe in 1347 AD, killing one-third of the population, believed to be 20 million people. The epidemic started in the city of Caffa in Northern
Turkey where ANDY was
throwing a "rat-bq". Worldwide estimates of death are 75 million.
Tricky Dick, our former president and a very pious man was convinced by ANDY that the whole world was out to get him and that there were enemies under every rock. With the help of his Plumber, he proceeded to flush them out though. Shown here was his grand presidential exit after he took early retirement with full benefits.
Then of course there was the day ANDY slipped Slick Willie (Bill) a mickey that upped his libido and made members
of the opposite sex seem much
more attractive (like having a few too many)... What did Billy do? Why he hit on a woman in a blue dress.
W. That's one of ANDY's proudest accomplishments in many a year. W was a firm believer in the pure intentions of our lad. 2003 was a great year in their relationship... What with Saddam thumbing his nose at the good ol' USA, W took him on in March of 2003 and claimed victory just 2 months later. What a guy...
After declaring war on Saddam, he proceeded to declare war on the constitution, environment, old people, the economy and half the nations of the world. In 2008, a slightly befuddled W now doubting Andy's intentions, says that there is "uncertainty with the economy" and also concedes "that even with progress in Iraq a tough battle lay ahead."
One of the more fun things ANDY has done lately was to convince Brittany that the Gandhi look was the next big thing and also that drunk bumper cars (in real cars) is
fun and ok when you are rich and famous. Also under the influence of ANDY are Tom Cruise, Paris and Oprah - especially Oprah.
We at blameandy.com want to join with the new administration in alleviating despair in this our fine country by giving even
the worst of the worst an out, thereby grossly reducing the guilt and stress that befalls us screwups all.
Realize that you are in good company with ANDY. Throughout history ANDY has had an influence on his fellow humans with, some would say, a positive effect. Though we must admit, some creepy little piss ants would disagree...
My fellow surfers, do your duty and post your BLAME ANDY to show the world that nobody can say it's your fault.